Mothers

My philosophy with my mother is you can't live with her, you can't live without her. I am an only child of divorced parents. I could probably leave things right there are I can assume the first thought through your head is, oh my over protected.

My mother and I have a love hate relationship. She has always made me feel like I am never a good enough daughter, that I don't spend enough time with her, that I don't make her feel loved. She has always been super overprotective, and I get it, and I humored her. She knew my every move, literally, because I would have to call and let the phone ring once when I arrived and when I left to come home. Growing up was very tough, but I get it, you have to be in this day and age. Maybe not as neurotic, to the point where you would like to like your child up in a room to protect them, but I get it.

What I don't get is that since I got married almost 5 years ago, how much more controlling she has tried to become. Since my husband is in the military, he does go away on occasion. If she finds out, she expects me to pack up my dogs and come stay with her ( I live 10 minutes from her) or she wants to come stay here. I am usually okay with that, but there are some days that I really would like to be able to stay in my own home, by myself, and enjoy the peace and quiet. She knows my teaching schedule and if I haven't called her by what she thinks is a respectable amount of time for me to be finished, she is blowing up every telephone line she can. If I don't talk to her at least 4 times a day, I don't love her. If I don't come and see her at least once a week I am the worst daughter in the world and just like my father ( I just love that one, and hey I am glad I am like him because I am not a clingy freak!).

Our conversations, more than not, always end up with me holding the phone away from my ear, her grumbling about how horrible I am, I roll my eyes, and slam the phone down when she hangs up on me, cursing at her under my breath. My poor husband just sits there and listens and laughs. He just can't understand how my mom can be this way, especially when I normally drop everything to go do something for her.

Maybe if she would be back off and let me live my life instead of running it, I would want to spend time with her and have things to talk to her about.  I love my mother with all my heart. I would love to be able to have a cool mother/daughter relationship with her. Maybe if she worked, had a hobby (other than me) or had a boyfriend, she would be occupied with other things. Speaking of which I think I may secretly put her on match.com!!!!

Computers

My computer and I are having a hate relationship this week. As a college professor, not only do I teach traditional classes, but I also teach online, which is awesome. It's awesome because I can get on this thing and check my students progress at 11pm at night if I want, or from the beach (which of course isn't advisable for obvious reasons), but the cool thing is I can teach the virtual class from anywhere. Okay getting away from the reason for this rant, so back to it.

Anyway my online students have just submitted their research papers. Everything from discussions, to essays, to papers, and test, are done online. So I have been staring at my computer for hours on end reading research papers on everything from 1600 to present. I need my computer to be in great working order to do this. Up until this week it has been behaving perfectly. The minute I start reading papers it starts freezing and acting up. If I have to reboot it one more time I am going to throw it out the front door.

Ok I only have 9 more to read so let's keep our fingers crossed that the old girl can make it!

SLACK

I am such a horrible blogger, but I haven't been inspired lately to write. Maybe I am going through a hormonal problem again, or just didn't feel like over-extending myself to write any thoughts down. My excuse this last week was that I was on Spring Break and I took a much needed break from the computer! Now I am back and am hopeful to fill this blog up with different things. Until then, I am going to enjoy my last night before I go back to the grind of teaching tomorrow.

Horrible Monday

My week is just starting off peachy! As I was about to drive out from work, a former student not paying attention, hit me, taking out my driver side tail light. Of course at first he freely admitted that it was his fault, that this has happened to him before, and he did not see me. I should mention that I drive a small sports car and he was driving a huge SUV. Since I teach at a college, I called public safety to take a report. It was minimal damage to my car, and none to his, but I wanted to be on the safe side. Of course once the officer started taking info, he changed his tune and said that it was both our faults. I was furious, as how was it my fault when I was totally out of my space and about to pull forward??

After talking to my insurance company, which I may add is simply the best, the adjustor said the body shop would be able to see whose fault it was, especially since it was the back side of my car. What an ordeal! Thankfully I have an appointment with the auto body shop this afternoon and a rental lined up!

I have a feeling I won't be teaching him another section of history!

Weight loss

Just a quick rant- I have been working my ass off and haven't lost a pound. I have cut my calories and I have been doing zumba 3-4 times a week, as well as running and walking. Have I met the metabolic curse in turning 37? I refuse to buy new clothes until I can get back into them. What's a girl to do? Stop eating? Exercise after every meal. I refuse to turn to drugs to lose weight, or go back to the weight doctor when I know what I need to do to get it off. It just isn't leaving!!! UGH!

A monday on a wednesday

Short blog as I know that I have been neglecting, but I have been extremely busy. I am having a Monday on a Wednesday. My morning started out great and went to hell in a hand basket in a matter of hours. Nothing like walking out the house forgetting your entire life in the process. I go to work and realize that I have no lecture notes for students, no tests that needed to be copied for next week, no purse, nothing, except of course my cell phone. How could I ever forget that??

Anyway I am calling it a day and hoping that I wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow!

Reliving Memories Through Songs

Isn't it funny how hearing a certain song played on the radio reminds you of a certain person, time frame, or event in your life. Since I have gotten XM Radio put back into my car, I have constantly been on 3 stations, the 80's on 8, the 90's on 9, and Lithium. Being a child of the 80's, I especially adore the music from 1984, because that was the summer my mother let me have MTV. I spend hours in front of the television watching music video and music video. I grew to adore Duran Duran, the Cars, Aha, Def Lepard, the Thompson Twins, the Go-Go's and on and on and on. I already had such a love for music, as I had already been taking dance and piano lessons for years, but I fell passionately in love that summer. Music made my world go round. I would spend hours  listening to records, dancing and singing, pretending that I was on stage. I can hear "Wild Boys" or "Vacation" and immediately feel like I am 9 years old again. Also, 1988 stands out because as a Christmas gift my father got me cable, and again I spent hours watching MTV (when it still played music video) and loving Bon Jovi, Warrant, 2 Live Crew, and NWA.

The other two channels remind me of college. I was in college during the wane of the hair bands (which I may add I loved, especially Poison) and the rise of alternative (which I also loved, especially Soundgarden), throw into the mix dance music ( I loved Snap), and it was a great decade of music! I heard on those 2 channels on Saturday 4 songs that reminded me of my senior year of college and my best friend, who lived with me at the time. It was my first year living on my own, and we were living at Folly Beach in the house my father had just purchased. He didn't rent it out just so that I could live there and experience life away from my mom. Seriously, 1996-97 was the best year of my life. The 4 songs that came on took me back to Friday nights spent on the front porch drinking Miller Lite waiting on my serious boyfriend to get leave from the Citadel, so we could go listen to live music at the Sand Dollar. It took me back to riding downtown with all the windows open belting out "One Headlight" and finding it ironic that indeed one of the head lights was burnt out. The hours between midnight and 7 am dancing at the Music Farm's Disco Hell, or going to see Dave Matthews play at the Citadel for $5 a ticket.

I can honestly say that music still moves my soul. I have some of the best dance parties in my car. I can define my life by a song list. I don't know what I would be if I didn't have music. Some days it's Chopin, other days it's Jay Z, but regardless, music is my drug, and without it I am nothing.