Monday, July 30, 2012


Have you ever just been so disappointed that there are no words to formulate the thoughts that you have running through your head. Or something happen that you just have to ask Why God? That is happening right now. I don't want to put down words until I get the facts, but I am so speechless and hurt that I don't know what to do. If this is God's plan then why did everything fail into place so easily like it was meant to be, for it to just go away. To wonder how you are going to get through the day much less the week or month. When you put all your support behind someone or something for them to fail after only a few days? I just don't get it.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Where did June go??

Is it just me or does time seem to be speeding up? I swear it was just May last week. I find that I get myself caught up to turn around and get behind. I live by today lists and calendars, whether it's on my phone, my Louis Vuitton agenda, or various slips of paper or post it notes that I find around the house or in my purse. So that leads me to ask a question-Is living by a to do list making me miss out on living? Is that why it seems like time is moving so much faster because I am not enjoying it?

Let's face it I have to work. I don't have the luxury of being a millionaire who can vacation wherever and enjoy life. My days I have off are spent doing things around the house or getting caught up with my volunteer work. My mind never switches off. This is probably why I feel like time is rolling past me. I wish that we didn't live in such an expensive time, where we could actually take the time to smell the roses instead of saying in a minute, an hour, a week.....

In the words of David Wooderson from the movie Dazed and Confused "The older you get, the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N." I guess I need to get out there and try this.

Monday, June 11, 2012


I worry. It's my natural instinct to worry about everything and anything in my life. If I am not worrying, then I am not living. I worry over every little thing. Yes, I know that worrying is pointless, but sometimes it makes me feel better, like I may have a little control over things. I also feel like I have to worry some for my husband because he has the most laid back attitude, and stuff just rolls off of him. It infuriates me that he can have such a cavalier attitude. I can sit and rant and rave over things and he just shrugs his shoulders and goes on. I have found that most men are like this. Just once I wish that I could have the peace and tranquility for one day that my husband has all the time. Then just maybe I could get 8 hours of restful sleep.
I am sure that I am slowly putting myself into an early grave. Okay time to try the deep breaths and see if that will work.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


at blogging, but that will change over the course of the next few weeks. I will be spending much more time on my computer since I am teaching summer classes, of which two are on line. This is going to be a frustrating summer as well since I am in the midst of starting the chair position for the Junior League of Charleston's Whale of a Sale.
I keep telling myself what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.....I think I can I think I can!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Books Books and More Books

One of 5 book shelves-this is in the den

I love books. What a simple sentence, but it best describes me. Books have been an integral part of my life from the time I was a baby when my mother and father would read to me, to the time I picked up the first book to read at the age of 3. Being a history professor dictates that I am supposed to love to read, but my appetite for books far exceeds the norm. Last time I counted I had over 6000 books. Most of them are packed away in boxes in my attic just waiting for a spot on a shelf. I have 5 bookshelves in my house right now and can't wait to be able to dedicate a very large room to walls and walls of books! I can't not walk into a bookstore and not purchase a book. I spend as much on books as I do on shoes, and let's face it, I have never met a Jimmy Choo or Christian Louboutin that I didn't like. So I may drop $700 on a pair of shoes, but I can guarantee I have spent close to that on books over the course of a few months.

Being an only child of a very over protective mother, she always monitored what I watched on TV, instead suggesting that I read a book. Little did she know but I fell in love with the printed word. I still have the first book that I bought with Christmas money- it was in 1979, I was 4 years old, and had fallen in love with the English monarchy. The first book I bought was on Queen Elizabeth II and her family. Yes, light reading for a 4 year old. I couldn't grasp all the words and remember spending hours staring at the pictures of her, especially in her crowns. I could identify because I was into my 4th year of pageants and loved prancing around in my crowns and tiara's!

Me at age 5, the year I won Little Miss Dixie Darling and Little Miss United States

Since my TV was so closely guarded, I would escape for hours on end into a good book. I could become that princess, or Juliet, and thank goodness my mother didn't understand just how explicit the Flowers in the Attic series were. It's where I learned the beginnings of what sex was! I slowly found that I loved anything romantic, especially if it was historical. I also developed a passion for the mob and had a major crush on Al Capone and Meyer Lansky, and anything to do with the Roaring 20's. I also discovered Sweet Valley High, and any number of series after. Oh to be Jessica Wakefield! I devoured the classics, War and Peace, Pride and Prejudice, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Alcott, Browning, Voltaire, as well as good old southern history, like Gone with the Wind. It was my reality of sorts, my pretend world where I could be anything that I wanted. I was Ponyboy Curtis' girlfriend so many times!

Once in high school we were forced to read many good books and I didn't seem to enjoy them as much. I went back and re-read quite a few after college and was angry at myself for not appreciating them more. In college there never seemed to be time for recreational reading as a history major. I normally took 2-4 history classes a semester and some of my classes would require 5-9 books, as well as supplements and textbooks to go along with it. History overload for sure. Then in grad school it was the same all over again. I know from 2001-2003 I didn't read a book because I was so burned out from getting my masters. But I can tell you this, had I not been a history major, I never would have read Mein Kampf, Within a Plantation Household, Southern Honor, Four Hours in My Lay, the Twelve Caesars, Mary's World, The Devil in the Shape of a Woman, Over There, The Weimar Republic Sourcebook, and the list goes on and on and on.......

Today I love to unwind with a good book. Because I teach history and have to read 250 research papers a semester, I tend to shy away from history books unless it's on my favorite periods-the Russian Revolution, early Scottish or English history, or Civil War. I normally turn to romance, usually historical in nature, where I can get lost with the dashing Scottish highlanders, or the cowboys of the old west. I always try to keep the ladies in the books I read strong and independent. Of course, I have fallen prey to the True Blood/Sookie Stackhouse series, Twilight Series, The Hunger Games, and the 50 Shades series-and have no problems admitting that I love Eric, Edward, and Christian! I still can't pass up a good book by John Jakes, Pat Conroy, Mary Balogh, Linda Lael Miller, or Charlaine Harris. Of course I can still get lost between the pages of an Austen novel that I have read a hundred times. The bottom line is, I love books.....

My dream library-heaven!!!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

A dog's life

I have two dogs, two very spoiled dogs. I sometimes will stare at them when I am at home working, and they are asleep in their baskets, or around my feet. I reflect on just how easy they have it. Since I don't have children yet, I have taken to calling or referring to them as my children. I find myself saying things like "The kids need to go out, or The kids need feeding".

My Chihuahua is 11 years old and has been the most steadfast and loyal a companion that a person could ever ask for. We have been through so much together, and it breaks my heart to see him looking and acting older. I remember when I first got him- he was a rescue, and so full of energy and love. We had so many adventures together, and I referred to him lovingly as "my boy". He came to me with the ridiculous name of "Tiny" and I decided immediately that I would fix that. I thought for days and pondered just what would fit this tiny little creature. He wasn't fixed, and I noticed that he had developed a fond relationship with a teddy bear on my bed. One day he was "making love" to it and his lipstick popped out. I think that it scared him because he immediately jumped off the bed and hid under it. I was laughing so hard, but then became scared because could the lipstick come all the way out and not go back in. Eventually it went back inside, and the name hit me- he would be called "Woody"! Now we have different variations of it, "Woodrow", "Woodrow Willy", and just plan "Wood". I adore this kid and my heart will truly break when the time comes for him to pass.

Two years ago when my husband was deployed, I got the brilliant idea that we needed a second dog. It was just that, an idea, until my cousin called to tell me that they had rescued a precious Yorkie puppy that needed a good home. I love yorkies, as my mother and aunt have them, and because I am such a proponent of rescue dogs, I said that I would take him. The minute we laid eyes on each other, that was it. I reached out my hands for him and he jumped into them, and would let go. We were destined to be partners. I kept his name "Charlie" since it fits, but I formally call him King Charles Phillip Arthur George". He also answers to "Shit Head" and "Damn it Charlie". This kid is pure love and all boy, and has the most precious under bite that makes him look like he is smiling all the time! He has been a godsend for Woody, as they play together, or in actuality Charlie wants to play and Woody just growls and runs from him.

They are my special shadows. I may complain about them, but I know that my world would be so lost without them. The unconditional love and affection they give, only asking for treats and belly rubs in return. Because they are rescue dogs (and come to find out not pure breeds) they have a different outlook and personality. It's like they know that I saved them from an abusive situation, and do everything in their power to please me. I just hope they realize that in the process they saved me as well.

Grading Hell

I am finally entering in to the final stretch of grading hell for the spring semester. For some reason this semester flew by, and while I am not quite ready to teach maymester and summer sessions, I am glad to see this one over. For some reason teaching 8am classes did not make me happy-and I think this is God's way of getting back at me for never taking 8am classes in college.
Again I have to wonder, after grading final exams, how some of my students made it out of high school, let alone can breath and think on their own. I really wish I could take some aside and just ask them what they think they are going to do with their lives if they can't pass a simple 101 class? Some of these kids are taking Western Civ for the 2nd and 3rd time!!!

Ok, this was a quick break, now back to grading. I promise that I will be more diligent once this is finished because there is some much of my life that I want to be able to document!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

What a slacker!

I apologize to myself and anyone else who checks out my musings. My last month has been filled with reading research papers- 200 papers to be exact. I know more than I possibly need to about the European Witch Trials, The Fall of the Roman Empire, Trench Warfare, Hitler and the Holocaust, Henry VIII, and the French Revolution.

While I complain about the lack of writing skills that my students have and question how the hell they graduated high school and were accepted into college, there are always a few students who blow my mind! Either they have bought their papers (which isn't likely since I can use programs to check) or are just fantastic writers.  Those papers I can engross myself in and not put a red or green ink mark on them. When I read papers like that, it gives me hope for the educational system in South Carolina!

Now that those papers are finished, I am free to write finals and breath a sigh of relief until Maymester and summer session starts.....oh the life of a professor!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


My philosophy with my mother is you can't live with her, you can't live without her. I am an only child of divorced parents. I could probably leave things right there are I can assume the first thought through your head is, oh my over protected.

My mother and I have a love hate relationship. She has always made me feel like I am never a good enough daughter, that I don't spend enough time with her, that I don't make her feel loved. She has always been super overprotective, and I get it, and I humored her. She knew my every move, literally, because I would have to call and let the phone ring once when I arrived and when I left to come home. Growing up was very tough, but I get it, you have to be in this day and age. Maybe not as neurotic, to the point where you would like to like your child up in a room to protect them, but I get it.

What I don't get is that since I got married almost 5 years ago, how much more controlling she has tried to become. Since my husband is in the military, he does go away on occasion. If she finds out, she expects me to pack up my dogs and come stay with her ( I live 10 minutes from her) or she wants to come stay here. I am usually okay with that, but there are some days that I really would like to be able to stay in my own home, by myself, and enjoy the peace and quiet. She knows my teaching schedule and if I haven't called her by what she thinks is a respectable amount of time for me to be finished, she is blowing up every telephone line she can. If I don't talk to her at least 4 times a day, I don't love her. If I don't come and see her at least once a week I am the worst daughter in the world and just like my father ( I just love that one, and hey I am glad I am like him because I am not a clingy freak!).

Our conversations, more than not, always end up with me holding the phone away from my ear, her grumbling about how horrible I am, I roll my eyes, and slam the phone down when she hangs up on me, cursing at her under my breath. My poor husband just sits there and listens and laughs. He just can't understand how my mom can be this way, especially when I normally drop everything to go do something for her.

Maybe if she would be back off and let me live my life instead of running it, I would want to spend time with her and have things to talk to her about.  I love my mother with all my heart. I would love to be able to have a cool mother/daughter relationship with her. Maybe if she worked, had a hobby (other than me) or had a boyfriend, she would be occupied with other things. Speaking of which I think I may secretly put her on!!!!

Thursday, March 22, 2012


My computer and I are having a hate relationship this week. As a college professor, not only do I teach traditional classes, but I also teach online, which is awesome. It's awesome because I can get on this thing and check my students progress at 11pm at night if I want, or from the beach (which of course isn't advisable for obvious reasons), but the cool thing is I can teach the virtual class from anywhere. Okay getting away from the reason for this rant, so back to it.

Anyway my online students have just submitted their research papers. Everything from discussions, to essays, to papers, and test, are done online. So I have been staring at my computer for hours on end reading research papers on everything from 1600 to present. I need my computer to be in great working order to do this. Up until this week it has been behaving perfectly. The minute I start reading papers it starts freezing and acting up. If I have to reboot it one more time I am going to throw it out the front door.

Ok I only have 9 more to read so let's keep our fingers crossed that the old girl can make it!

Sunday, March 18, 2012


I am such a horrible blogger, but I haven't been inspired lately to write. Maybe I am going through a hormonal problem again, or just didn't feel like over-extending myself to write any thoughts down. My excuse this last week was that I was on Spring Break and I took a much needed break from the computer! Now I am back and am hopeful to fill this blog up with different things. Until then, I am going to enjoy my last night before I go back to the grind of teaching tomorrow.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Horrible Monday

My week is just starting off peachy! As I was about to drive out from work, a former student not paying attention, hit me, taking out my driver side tail light. Of course at first he freely admitted that it was his fault, that this has happened to him before, and he did not see me. I should mention that I drive a small sports car and he was driving a huge SUV. Since I teach at a college, I called public safety to take a report. It was minimal damage to my car, and none to his, but I wanted to be on the safe side. Of course once the officer started taking info, he changed his tune and said that it was both our faults. I was furious, as how was it my fault when I was totally out of my space and about to pull forward??

After talking to my insurance company, which I may add is simply the best, the adjustor said the body shop would be able to see whose fault it was, especially since it was the back side of my car. What an ordeal! Thankfully I have an appointment with the auto body shop this afternoon and a rental lined up!

I have a feeling I won't be teaching him another section of history!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Weight loss

Just a quick rant- I have been working my ass off and haven't lost a pound. I have cut my calories and I have been doing zumba 3-4 times a week, as well as running and walking. Have I met the metabolic curse in turning 37? I refuse to buy new clothes until I can get back into them. What's a girl to do? Stop eating? Exercise after every meal. I refuse to turn to drugs to lose weight, or go back to the weight doctor when I know what I need to do to get it off. It just isn't leaving!!! UGH!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A monday on a wednesday

Short blog as I know that I have been neglecting, but I have been extremely busy. I am having a Monday on a Wednesday. My morning started out great and went to hell in a hand basket in a matter of hours. Nothing like walking out the house forgetting your entire life in the process. I go to work and realize that I have no lecture notes for students, no tests that needed to be copied for next week, no purse, nothing, except of course my cell phone. How could I ever forget that??

Anyway I am calling it a day and hoping that I wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Reliving Memories Through Songs

Isn't it funny how hearing a certain song played on the radio reminds you of a certain person, time frame, or event in your life. Since I have gotten XM Radio put back into my car, I have constantly been on 3 stations, the 80's on 8, the 90's on 9, and Lithium. Being a child of the 80's, I especially adore the music from 1984, because that was the summer my mother let me have MTV. I spend hours in front of the television watching music video and music video. I grew to adore Duran Duran, the Cars, Aha, Def Lepard, the Thompson Twins, the Go-Go's and on and on and on. I already had such a love for music, as I had already been taking dance and piano lessons for years, but I fell passionately in love that summer. Music made my world go round. I would spend hours  listening to records, dancing and singing, pretending that I was on stage. I can hear "Wild Boys" or "Vacation" and immediately feel like I am 9 years old again. Also, 1988 stands out because as a Christmas gift my father got me cable, and again I spent hours watching MTV (when it still played music video) and loving Bon Jovi, Warrant, 2 Live Crew, and NWA.

The other two channels remind me of college. I was in college during the wane of the hair bands (which I may add I loved, especially Poison) and the rise of alternative (which I also loved, especially Soundgarden), throw into the mix dance music ( I loved Snap), and it was a great decade of music! I heard on those 2 channels on Saturday 4 songs that reminded me of my senior year of college and my best friend, who lived with me at the time. It was my first year living on my own, and we were living at Folly Beach in the house my father had just purchased. He didn't rent it out just so that I could live there and experience life away from my mom. Seriously, 1996-97 was the best year of my life. The 4 songs that came on took me back to Friday nights spent on the front porch drinking Miller Lite waiting on my serious boyfriend to get leave from the Citadel, so we could go listen to live music at the Sand Dollar. It took me back to riding downtown with all the windows open belting out "One Headlight" and finding it ironic that indeed one of the head lights was burnt out. The hours between midnight and 7 am dancing at the Music Farm's Disco Hell, or going to see Dave Matthews play at the Citadel for $5 a ticket.

I can honestly say that music still moves my soul. I have some of the best dance parties in my car. I can define my life by a song list. I don't know what I would be if I didn't have music. Some days it's Chopin, other days it's Jay Z, but regardless, music is my drug, and without it I am nothing.

Monday, February 13, 2012


Three simple letters that evoke so much emotion from a woman, and anyone that is within a 10 mile radius of said woman. I have dealt with PMS for the past 26 years, and it isn't a pretty sight. My hormones work overtime to make sure that I am both depressed and pissed off at the same time. Some months it gets so rough that I don't even want to deal with myself. I feel bloated, fat, ugly, disgusting, emotional, angry, all of it rolled into one. I feel like I am the only person who experiences these feelings. I begin to question my life, and everything that I have or haven't accomplished at this point. I vow to not give into the temptation of eating sweet and salty (I am eating ice cream at the moment and now craving french fries), then proceeding to eat everything not tied down in the kitchen.
It's said the men experience something similiar to what women do, but I have yet to see it. I tell my husband that I wish just once he could experience this cycle. I feel sure that he would last one hour with the cramps, the bleeding, the emotional overload of feelings, and would quickly cave. Maybe, just maybe if men could experience this, then they wouldn't mind the crying spells and the constance questioning if we look fat or not. By the I look bloated?

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Musing for the day

"She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."
                                 Proverbs 31:25

This passage reminds me that I am a strong, independent, intelligent woman, and by attempting to live my life by his words, I can do anything. God doesn't give us more than we can handle. There are some days that I feel like my shoulders are going to buckle from different worries and stresses of life, but then I reflect on what I have and who I have, and I remember to thank God for it. We make our beds, we have to sleep in them, but what other choices do we have? Today, and many days this week, I have questioned this. I get so down on myself because of my weight, or that I am not in the position I thought that I would be at 37, or any number of things to reflect on, but I have to remember that I have a roof over my head, a husband and family that love me, a job that I actually enjoy going to most days, friends who would pretty much do anything for me, my health, and it does make the stress and worry a little easier.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Monday Monday

This will be brief, as I have a lot of work to do, but just wanted to say that Mondays should be a day off, include it in the weekend. I don't know about you but I find it very hard to be productive on Mondays. Also, I find that I start things over on Mondays, say for instance diet and working out. Yes Mondays can be a renewed hope in doing something new, or better, or different, or us trying to be different, but usually by Thursday we have fallen back into the same damn routine.
Anyway just wanted to grip a minute about Mondays. Longer post later on something totally different.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Is it winter yet?

I have been asking myself this question since the weather turned a tad cooler in November. I was so excited at the prospect of a cold Christmas, wearing all my cute winter clothing, you know big fluffy sweaters, jeans, boots. We have had maybe 5 straight days of cold weather all "winter".
For example- yesterday I laid in my back yard, not in a bathing suit, but in shorts and a t-shirt. I actually got sun, and fell asleep in the chair. It's February, it's not supposed to be 75 in Charleston! I am not ready for leg baring clothing, or worrying about pasty white skin!
Here is hoping that Phil will see his shadow and we can actually have some bit of winter weather!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My husband

Just wanted to give a quick shout out to my husband, my hero.

Marine Birthday Ball 2011

Afghanistan 2010

I want to eat everything in my kitchen

As like with most women (I think) I struggle with my weight. It is the bane of my life, the weight on my shoulders, I go to bed with it at night and think about it as soon as I get up. Not a moment goes by when I think about the extra weight I have put on since getting married 4 years ago. Seriously I think I have a thought about it every minute. Am I obsessed? Maybe, but obviously not to the point where I work out 4 hours 7 days a week, or starve myself.
I have noticed as I get older, I do have to work harder to maintain my weight, but come on, it's such a bitch. I have always been 10 pounds heavier than I should since my teen years. I was, and still am, very active, playing sports, dance classes, and now I have discovered Zumba. Before I could get the 10 pounds off in two weeks, but now it seems I take 2 pounds off and damn if I don't put on 3 more. In 2006 I started the Metabolic Weight Management program. You did shakes, took lots of vitamins, and an light dosage of an appetite suppressant. I lost a ton of weight fast, and kept it off for almost 2 years. Of course in that time frame I got married, and slowly stopped the shakes, and was eating horribly. Off and on since 2006 I have gotten back on the shakes, lost some weight, and then would go back to old habits. I can't wear any of my clothes, and thanks to Christmas and being off a month, I was eating desserts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Before Thanksgiving I had been doing Zumba 3-4 times a week, eating the same, but losing weight. Then I stopped. So three weeks ago I have started up my routine again with Zumba, but I still feel as big as a house.
Seriously I think about food all the time. It's like the damn food talks to me. I have all intentions of when I am dining out of eating healthy, when all of a sudden I have a cheeseburger and fries in front of me. How the hell did that get there? I am also an emotional eater. If I am happy, sad, confused, loved, mad, whatever, I am all ready to eat. I love sweets by far the most. It is my downfall, and what do you know, 4 chocolate covered Cadbury digestives called my name at noon today. Of course I had to answer it. Now I feel guilty!

I guess the moral of this exceptionally long blog post is to inspire myself to just say no. I need to make healthy choices if I am going to be around for a good long while. It's just so darn hard.

Me 2007 at my smallest

Me 2011 15 pounds heavier

I want to be that girl on the left again.

Monday, January 30, 2012


Why can't husbands pick up their dirty underwear from the floor nor keep a clean bathroom? I was just doing a little cleaning when I walked into my husband's bathroom, gagged, and turned around and walked out. I don't understand how a 41 year old has such a messy, gross bathroom?? When he gets home, I am going to threaten him by taking a picture of it and posting it on Facebook so that his friends and family can see it. If this is what going to The Citadel and spending 20 years in the Marines does for you, then God bless everyone.
End of rant!

Sunday, January 29, 2012


I decided that one of my resolutions for 2012 was to be fearless. I look back over the 37 years of my life and I have so many regrets, most of which were my own fears of trying new things holding me back. Every second I am a little closer to dying, and I am tired of having that cloud of regret over my life. I decided that I wanted to get a tattoo to remind myself to be fearless in life. Every time that I look at it, I will think about overcoming my fear to go get another tattoo, the good pain that came with it, and the mark that I will have the rest of my natural life.
2012 is about me, finding myself, discovering exactly who I am, instead of trying to be so many different labels that fit the needs of those around me. This is the year of figuring out what I am to do with my life, whether it is to be a history professor, or if there is something else out there that God intended for me to do.

Here is to being fearless!!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012


Today Charleston was unseasonally warm for January. So much so that I had students show up for their 8am class in shorts, even though at that time it was 56 out. Now, there were times in my scholastic career that I did wear shorts at inappropriate times. I knew I looked stupid wearing shorts and a sweatshirt, but I did it anyway. Heck I still do it when I go to work out. What baffles me are girls that insist on wearing short, t-shirts, Uggs, and a scarf when it's either 80 or 56 degrees outside. I saw my first student on campus in just that today. It is a seasonal walking contradiction. I don't get it. I am not putting down any of the articles of clothing, but wearing them all together? I love Uggs, I have gone through a few pairs of them, but I only wear them when it is seasonally appropriate. I love my Burberry scarf, but you aren't going to see it on me when it is 92 with a humidity level of 100%. I  just want to look at these girls and say it's not cute. You look stupid. You look ridiculous, and one day you will reflect on it and see just how much. Just like I did today when I thought back to wearing paper shorts, keds, and sweaters when it was 50 out.

Rant over!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Zumba (or better titled throwing your hip out of joint)

I have always tried to live a very active life style. I do have spirts where I am extremely lazy and don't do anything for weeks or months, but let's face it, if you want to mentally feel good you need to do something. Since getting married 4 years ago I have slowly put back on the 20 pounds that I had lost before the wedding. I know what I need to do to not gain weight, but I like food too much. I am not going to deny myself, hell you only live once. I just know that I need to step up working out if I am going to eat out every night (and yes so far since Thanksgiving we have done that).
I love to dance. I took dance for 17 years, and actually started back  lessons last year. I never thought at 36 that I would be in a dance recital again, but hell if I wasn't. While I enjoyed tap and jazz class, it wasn't doing it for me. I discovered Zumba over the summer and like most of America I am hooked. Thank God where I take doesn't have mirrors or I would never ever step foot in the class again. I get out there on the floor, shaking what God gave me, and thinking I am ready to be featured in a music video. Tonight I took a class, and got a little too much into it. I think I pulled a butt muscle, if that is even possible.
Of course after I sweated 10 pounds off, I go eat it plus some back on at Zaxby's. It's a vicious cycle.
Oh well, I will be at class tomorrow night shaking my ass thinking I am on dancing with the stars.

No this isn't a blog about cooking!

While the title would say otherwise, I named my blog "Musing from the Kitchen Counter" because that is where my lap top is set up at the moment. This is my office for the time being while I clean out the extra bedroom that will be the office one day.
I decided to start blogging because I have finally faced the fact that I am not good at writing my feelings and emotions down. I start out great, journaling everyday the first few weeks, then it slowly dwindles down to once a week, then once a month, till one day I find it covered in a layer of dust. Since I spend so much time on this damn computer, why not put this site to good use.
I am going through some things right now and the best way to sort it out is through this. I don't want to pay some shrink to tell me I am fine. So, if you don't mind a little of dribble, mixed in with snarky remarks, then follow. There will be laughter, tears, heartache, pain, love, fantasy, everything you can imagine rolled into one big fat drama of a blog.
Enjoy the ride!